Well yesterday was one of those days were I had a break down. I have know for about 7 years that Katie had down syndrome and most days it is no big deal, but every once in awhile I have one of those I feel sorry for myself days. Yesterday was one of these days. I don't know what started it but Jessie said what is wrong and I told him that he just doesn't understand because he has his typical little boys and I don't have a typical little girl. Don't get me wrong I love Katie to death but I worry about the future too much. I worry that she will never go to prom or get married. I am a girly girl and Katie doesn't care about that stuff yet. I know she is only 6 1/2 and has plenty of time to grow up but she is my only little girl and I don't want her to miss out on anything. Well enough about that.
We also went to cheerleading yesterday. Katie and another girl both joined the team yesterday. Katie was sitting very nicely for the first 10 minutes and then they gave her a buddy ( another cheerleader from a regular team who was about 9 or 10). They all began to stretch and Katie was sitting there stretching and I thought wow she is actually staying in the group and behaving. Not a minute later she was up running around. I was getting so frustrated and embarrassed. The other mothers assured me that there kids did the same thing when they first started. Katie finally sat and watched them practice and joined in a little. We will definitely be joining and I am hoping that in a couple of weeks when they go to a competition that Katie will go and do good.
Miss Amazing
2 years ago
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3 comments:
We all go through those emotions. It is the not knowing what the future holds that is the worst. If I had a crystal ball and could see caleb's future, I wouldn't spend so much time worrying about it. He will probably never live on his own. Who knows about relationships. It isn't impossible I guess. Lets hook our two up when they get older... how about it?
It's ok to have those emotions/feelings...we're entitled to feel what we feel...so don't be too hard on yourself!
Kayla is the same way with not being able to sit still, pay attention, follow directions, easily distracted. It drives me crazy! LOL Last year I signed her up for soccer thinking it would be a fun thing to do, it was awful! Ok, maybe just awful for me :) She wanted to run around the gym the whole time and NOT do what everyone else was practicing on at the different stations. I was so frustrated and upset after the first meeting that I cried all the way home. I'm actually thinking of signing her up for tball! She has that plastic play tball set and really loves to hit the ball; so I'm hoping this will go better!
I understand your emotions about the loss you feel, when you have a child with any kind of disability. The loss or absence of what we expected or expect for their future. My eldest son has PDD and we and especially I worry on a daily basis about his future. I mourn the fact that he is not "normal" or that he will not be able to support himself or a family some day. That he will get involved in drug use or some other destructive behavior. As mothers, we get pregnant and immediately we start bonding with that little person inside of us and start dreaming about their future. When reality and our dreams clash, it is a bite in the ass. So feeling sorry for yourself, totally allowed! Wallowing in it, not so much. But you don't do that. Hang in there and if you ever want to talk, give me a ring. I am in the school directory!
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